Friday, March 30, 2012

Chemo is Here

Well the time has come.  Yesterday was my first Chemo. 

Wednesday was a little rough.  We went to see Pastor Doug, just to get everything out and go into Chemo in the right frame of mind.  It helped, but I was exhausted after.  The entire night was so scary for me.  I had been trying to look only one day at a time and now there was nothing else to look at, but this super scary thing. I was so tired and so much of everything, I didn't know which way to turn.  I cried a lot.

I had to take steroids 12 hours and 6 hours before.  That meant getting up at three in the morning and eating and taking pills, like I wasn't having enough trouble sleeping.  The appointment was for 8:45.  We got there on time.  I went right back for them to access my port.  That went well.  It hurt, but not all that bad.  I  didn't have to wait long.  Everyone I meet was very kind. They gave me a tour of the place and showed me my cubbie.  They started with premeds which included more steroids.  Then the Chemo started.  I have to say it was not all that bad.  I expected to feel worse during the whole thing.  I did feel like my center of gravity was a little off.  I was like a drunken sailor and I didn't feel like I could focus to read or anything. I didn't like that - they said that it was normal, but I still didn't like it.  My peeps from work stopped by and chatted, that was nice.  I did feel jittery from all the steroids.  That was the worst part for the day.  They gave me ativan for it and I felt better and slept some.  I was done at 3:00.  I was happy with that. 

We came home and I was exhausted.  All the meds and emotions - all I could do was sleep.  I ate a little and then I went to bed and slept all night. 

Today I feel better than expected.  I am up and around and eating a little.  I just feel like I don't have a lot of energy.  I went for a little walk and that made me tired.  I slept and rested most of the day.  All in all, I think that I am doing OK.  They said that tomorrow will be worse. 
We will see what tomorrow brings. 

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