Hanging in There

I am starting to feel better - a lot faster this time I think.  I did laundry and the dishes today.  That is something for me.  I am tired of being tired though.  It is hard to feel so good last week and then everything over the weekend was so hard.  I slept though the treatment on Thursday and then for the evening.  Friday was OK - not much nausea which was nice.  The Dr. changed my premeds around and I think that really helped.  The weekend I didn't really get off the couch much.  I tried to fold laundry and it just made me exhausted.  Monday night I got sick again - like last time.  I think that after that I start to feel better.  I just want to feel normal again.  August seems so far away. 

My hair is falling out a lot now.  I don't know what to do with it.  should I just shave it off or try to keep it as along as I can.  I have a bridal shower to go to on Sunday.  I don't want to be bald, but at this rate - I think that I will be.  I just want to look OK, you know.  I have to make sure that I have a hat to match what ever I am going to wear.  I just think that I look so bad these days - I'm cut up like a Christmas turkey, my hair is gray and falling out.  It does something to your self esteem.  I know that it is going to be OK and that it will grow back and that I will look good again, but it seems like a long way off.  I don't think that I will have hair again until Thanksgiving. 

I am going for reflexology at a Cancer Resource center tomorrow.  I am looking forward to it.  I am hoping that it lifts my spirits a little.  I have been having neuropathy in my hands and feet this time.  Maybe this will help that.  It makes it hard to sleep when  the soles of your feet ache. 

I am doing OK.  Better than I thought I would be now.  I just want this to be over.  That's all.