Half Way!

Hello! I am happy to report that my Guest Blogger status has been renewed!!! Yes it is Jim again bringing you up to date on Misho's 3rd chemo treatmeant......!  Actually, we were not sure if it would happen today.....Let me explain........

Misho's platelets and white blood cell count were low on Monday.  This is normal but psychologically it made for an unsettled week.  We have it set in our hearts that all will go as scheduled, so when our plans get changed it takes a lot of energy to be patient. More energy than any of you realize, because we want this to be done.

Last night was rough, not much sleep for both of us and when it came it was unsettled sleep....I woke up at 5:30 am....thinking as I rolled over that all I had to do was get up and go to work.(I wish that is all I had to worry about)!...then the heavy weight of another Chemo treatment and all that it involves crept into my mind.............Wow, really? another one.... This is not what I want to do.......Can I please just go to work and forget what is going on....Can I please just go back to my "Bubble" and only think of Me.....NO!    You can't, you have to be there for her..........., OK  I'm getting up now.....................! and I was SAD.....Sad that the weight of worry, treatments and the unknown were slapping us in the face again......


Some of you who read this blog have gone through similar trials, some of you have gone through even more difficult events in your life that lead you to a place of connection with us.      Those of you who can completely connect know that it is so very, very difficult to have to watch the love of your life go through with the reality of Cancer and the: treatments, fears, worries, and above all the unknown possibility of what may be................


I got up and laid on the couch with the dog, watched TV and fell asleep for 20 minutes....it felt so good!

I got Misho up at 6:30am, made us breakfast, packed our bag---books,phones,I Pad, Misho's stuffed animal (Ralph the kitty) and of course her hand stiched chemo blanket.....

She put the Emla cream on her Port to numb the site for the "stick" and we left the house at 7:30 am.

We pulled in and Valet parked at 7:45 am, signed in and went to have her Port-a Cath accessed.
The needle is huge! The "stick" ( I hold her hand tight, and squeeze it hard when the needle goes in) didn't work at first, we both looked at each other----Oh Boy!! What Now?..... then there was a blood return... (YEA! the Port still works!) The nurse pulled two vials of blood and now we had to wait to see if her platelets and white count would allow us to have a treatment today.  We waited for two hours......!

We waited until 9:40 am. The feelings of uncertainty and the sad, blank, scared faces in the waiting room are very hard to take sometimes.  Let me temper that with the wonderful care and concern that is given by the staff at the hospital, they make you feel welcome and above all else----understood.....!

Good News!! Her platelets were 101,000.
The cutoff is 100,000......Here we go........!!!!!

We got to pick our chair today, it is close to the bathroom and away from the nurses station so hopefully it will be more quite, ( turned out it was louder and busy but we are ok with that)

9:50 Benadryl and Pepsid, 10:10 Pre med IV, and finally at 10:45----the chemo......

She is very restless this time, her legs are twitching and she just can't find the right spot to sit, some Ativan and four trips to the bathroom later, she is sleeping in her chair.....it's Noon.

Up at 12:30 eating a sandwich, much calmer now.

2:00 pm- the first 500cc IV is almost done.  She has been more peaceful for the last hour or so, drifting in and out of sleep.

2:15 pm- the second IV starts and runs for only 30 minutes.....thankfully we are almost done.

2:50 pm-the port needle is flushed and pulled out (not too painful) .

3:05 pm- In the truck on our way home.   50% DONE  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted to tell you how proud I am of Misho. She is so strong, even though she would disagree.  I have seeen her become more aware of each moment as it comes ( it is still a struggle sometimes). I have also seen her grow in her appreciation of all that life is. That is really a beautiful place to be, a place alot of us never get to.  Blogging has given her a place to be open and honest with her feelings.  She joined a support group this week,  when she came home it was as if the fear and uncertainty melted off of her.  I know that being in the company of others that have gone through similar life moments is very healing.  Being with people that understand is so very comforting.

Each day holds victory for us, each day is also difficult for many reasons. 

Thankfully we have all of you:  thinking, reading and praying for us.......Jim