No Mastectomies for Me!!

I got a call yesterday from my Dr. - I do NOT have the gene mutation for breast cancer!  I am so relieved!  There is a gene that connects breast cancer and ovarian cancer, so if I had the mutation in that gene my risk of developing breast cancer would have been very high.  If I had the mutation then my family would have to be tested for it as well. Now we don't even have to think about that any more.  It has always in the back of my mind, wondering if I was going to need more surgery.  Thinking about all the pain it would cause me and all the fear that others in my family would have to think about the same things that I have been thinking about for months.  I am so glad that none of us have to think about it again.  My Mom said that she wasn't that woried about it - that only 4% of women have the mutation.  I can't play the odds any more!

I am so glad that I am done with treatment.  It feels good.  I wish that I was healed already.  I am impatiet to be strong and myself.  I felt pretty good for a few days, but now I am going down again.  I am sure that my hemaglobin is going in the toilet.  I am so out of breath today and it is getting worse.  I go for bloodwork tomorrow in the morning and I am sure that I will need blood.  I hate to have it, but it will make me feel better - then I will be able to go up the steps with out feeling like I just ran a mile! 

It is frustrating to not be better - I'm done and now I want to be done done - be myself again.  I will be strong again - I will be myself again.  I know that I will.  I just want it to be now!